Jonny's Sunday Review
Sunday was ironically mostly a day or rest for me. That and my memories
pretty hazy from it. Wandered round drunk and high. I think the first thing I
did (apart from drowning myself in sunscreen and covering up as much as
possible) was go to the Orange Café Tent to charge my phone. It seemed
sorted in there, last years idea of leaving them with staff to charge may have
been better but this was more fun. You sat at a table (with a frozen mochachino
if you were me) and plug your phone into the built in chargers, watch the
projection screens and listen to the live DJ. Also supplied for customer
enjoyment were Placebo 2000AD Comics (which was a bit turd, but I was
never into Dredd and such anyway). While I was in the Café the rain came down
the hardest I'd seen all weekend creating mud outside. WARNING: Toilet Review In Next Paragraph! After 25 minutes of charging and when the rain had stopped I went outside for
a mooch to the chemical toilets for my only poop for the entire weekend.
The chemical
toilets are generally used less then the "pits" and can flush so they're
usually better. Took my own tissues and searched out a quality porta-loo.
Seriously, this was like one of the highlights of the day. 3 1/2 days of eating
takes it's toll on your bowls eventually if you don't sort it. It started to
drizzle again outside so I climbed into the safety of my porta-loo and sat out
the rain on my plastic throne. The rain had stopped before I emerged and I trekked round through the mud
round some shops and visited the Nintendo Tribal Tour Bus where I finally
got to check out the new Donkey Kong Jungle Beat bongo game. Seemed okay. I reckon it will be more successful then the Maraca game they tried to feed us
a few years back. I then wondered into the Comedy Tent where I was spaced out
and baffled by the robotic antics of Robochrist. This seemed to consist
of a drugged up guy in face paint and silver clothes miming along with a guitar
to classic techno tracks and generally trying to motivate the brain-dead crowd
which stared ahead in disbelief wondering if this was actually funny or just
plain fucked up. When that finished I wandered out wondering what dimension I'd
arrived in and met up with Hammy & Gwilym on their Cutey Booty Weekend Party
trip. I would describe this but it's probably best if you just
checkout the
photogallery. The both of them had gone completely mad and kept going on
about Sluppys and Squippys (Slutty Hippys and Squiffy Hippys). Mooched some more with Hammy & Gwilym as they told me what they'd been up to
and then headed back to the Comedy Tent. Ended up going in and out of the comedy
tent all day in between getting drunk and floating round in my own little
JonnyWorld. Saw various acts including some local guy from Leeds called Toby
Foster I think who was quite good, one guy called Jared Christmas and
a really unfunny drunk guy from Wales which I walked out on after a minute. When it got to 5:30pm in the afternoon I found myself with Jodi & Lucy
somehow (can't remember why) to go to watch Franz Ferdinand. Met up with
Hammy & Gwilym there as well by co-incidence. Not sure how well I can rate Franz
Ferdinand as there were so many people there and I was so far back I couldn't
hear it very loud. From what I did hear though it seemed spot on and the crowd
down nearer the stage were all dancing. At the back though we were doing Jonny's
Patented Franz Ferdinand Stomp Dance. They performed all my favourite tracks off
the album including Michael and Take Me Out. All together a good
set, just wish I got nearer the stage for it. After Franz Ferdinand I wandered about some more and saw more comedy.
Marcus Brigstock was pretty funny and had some sound political views.
Didn't agree with alot of his stuff though and heckled him at one point shouting
out "G-UNIT!" (I forget why now). But he was quite good. Was supposed to be
headlining but there was another guy after him for some reason. The guy after
him was the best, Mike Wilmot from Canada! Oh Caaan-aaa-daaaa! Our home
and native land.... *sings* ....anyway...as I was
saying. He was safe as f**k. Did gags about Canada vs America and coming to the
UK. Also did the best stand-up and drug experiences I've heard for time. He even
managed to blag the audience to get him a joint. The compere for the day was
okay too actually but I can't remember his name. Then came the Grand Finale, Dizzee Rascal. Hammy & Gwilym were busy
dragging me around and messing about getting water and stuff and the
tent was already full and exploding with people. I managed to get in at the side
though and I got let near to the front by everyone as it's blatantly my festival
anyway. The tent really was packed, more so then I'd ever seen it. Even more
then Aphrodite last year. Semtex, one of the UKs biggest Hip-Hop
DJs was on the decks which was quality by itself. Both Dizzee and Semtex had 
just come back from their tour of Japan. I presume the set they did for us was similar to the sets they'd been doing over there. The crowd was so hyped it was unbelievable. I knew he was popular but after 50 Cents reception I didn't expect such a big crowd. Maybe Grime really is taking off big, or maybe it's just all the other stages were pretty much crap (stupid line-up, they're well fired). Really though, The White Stripes as the main act on the main stage??? What's that all about, there's only two of them and the drummer's shit. White Stripes are all a bit dull and full of themselves. Their also idiots and not funny at all in my opinion. Anyway, Dizzee was absolutely fantastic, he did UK rappers proud on that stage. It was defiantly on par with 50 Cent's performance,
probably better. One of my favourite rappers ever. His style is original and he
can rhyme about as fast as Twista. He performed all the classics and hits
like I Luv U, Fix Up Look Sharp, Jus A Rascal and Stand Up Tall. In fact
every track was a winner. It was like a rap concert and a techno rave mixed into
one and everyone went wild for it. There were people climbing up the tent
supports just to get a better look. Semtex was brilliant too and regularly
dropped beats into the mix from some choice hip-hop cuts. Dizzee broke it down a
few times with accapellas and did it slow for anyone that couldn't quite get
their ears round his fast rhyming and strong London accent. Dizzee was so good
that the whole crowd demanded an encore even though we were running overtime and
wouldn't shift until it happened. I left the tent knowing full well that had
been the climax of the weekend and nothing could top it. Went to the Orange Café
for again for the Afterparty with Anks so he could charge his phone where I
ended up dancing with the staff to the Shapeshifter's Lola's
Theme. We then watched some of the warm-down acts. Caught a bit of
Funeral For A Friend but at the point in the evening it was all too much for me so we went and chilled at the Concrete Jungle stage with A. After the bands had finished I went back to my tent as things started to set
on fire and blow up. All the bars had been closed and security in riot gear were
on patrol. Firemen ran round with security and tried to put fires out. Riots
started but were soon culled and I sat outside and literally chilled with Jodi,
Lucy & Gustoff. I threatened anyone nearby that I'd piss on their bonfires if
they started one near my tent. I only got panicy once and considered moving my
tent and trying to go home but after a while the sleepiness set in. I went and
laid in my tent and then things went wierd. I remember getting up and going
round the camp, things moving, strange things happening, talking
bushes....weird...wierd things and the rest I'm not gonna even talk about. o_o; The chaos ran into the daylight and at about 8am I woke up and found myself
unable to move. I tried to get up but almost passed out. I thought I was never
gonna be able to get up again until finally I fully came too and crawled out of
my tent to see the scene of destruction before me. And that was the end of JonnyFest 2004.
Jonny's Saturday Review
Got into the Arena early enough to get to the Main Stage for Goldie Lookin
Chain. Never seen so many people for an opening act before. The crowd were
all hyped, energetic (also unusual for something starting before 2pm) and ready
to go. The GLC didn't fail us with their unique blend of hip-hop & comedy. The
crowd went wild for the hits that are Half-Machine, Your Mother's Got
A Penis and Guns Don't Kill People (Rappers do!). Who would have
thought that this year at JonnyFest we would be watching 12 guys in dodgy
tracksuits running round the stage. They also did one of my favourite tracks
Taxi. Make sure whenever you need a cab in Newport that you order a Dragon
Taxi. It's the only way to travel. After getting all that in they still managed
to do some new songs, pull off some dodgy dance moves and implement the chorus
of PJ & Duncan's Let's Get Ready To Rumble. Wandered about and hung out with people for a bit and saw bits of Taking
Back Sunday and Reel Big Fish which were both excellent. Emo & Ska
always goes down well on a sunny afternoon. Watched the first couple of songs by
Hundred Reasons before I realised that I was supposed to be in the Dance Tent.
Ran over there as quick as I could and caught the last 15 minutes or so of DJ
Format & MC Abdominal. Abdominal had someone else MCing along with him. They
both had the most wicked freestyle techniques and were name dropping bands left
right and centre (like the Streets, Dizzee, The Darkness) in their rhymes much
to the joy of the crowd. Format was on the ball as usual with the beats and
scratches. I was absolutely gutted that I'd forgotten about it and missed most
of it. Stupid Punk musics! Abdominal and the other MC then came to the front at
the end to sell some of their new CDs. Unfortunately I didn't have the right
change and I was already getting low on funds without going to the ATM so I just
followed the mass hip-hop exodus towards the main stage for Jurassic 5. I have to admit that I don't really know much Jurassic 5 other than
Concrete Schoolyard (which they performed near the end
of their set) but they seemed to have a large following of hardcore fans all
wearing Jurassic 5 hoodies and t-shirts. The oldskool rhymes and beats still
seemed pretty relevant and fitted right into the sunny afternoon. None of the
lyrics about guns, money and ho's from Fifty's set the previous night. They
really did take it all "back to the Concrete Streets with original beats and
real live MCs" with their raps about the lighter side of life and hip-hop. The
most amazing thing about performance though was DJs Nu-Mark and Cut-Chemist's solos. I've never seen seen a better DJ scratch duo live ever. At one point Nu-Mark was DJing using 2 kids toys and a cross fader which was pretty out there. Then both Nu-Mark and Cut-Chemist came out from behind the decks, Nu-Mark with an old portable record player strapped to his chest and Cut-Chemist with a beat box
strapped to his (reminded me of a cross between that Lexx episode that Tobin's
always on about and the Techno-Union guy from Star Wars: Ep II). Jurassic 5
joined the league of Raptors showing that Jurassic can still be cool as hell.
These guys show that oldskool Hip-Hop ain't quite extinct yet. Back over to the Dance Tent next to watch another of Dizzee's grime friends,
Shystie. We waited and waited for her as the technical crew tried to get
it all setup only to find half their mics and cables weren't working properly.
After 15 minutes are so though she was finally announced by one of her
accompanying MCs. Shystie, like Ivory, was performing with a full backing band,
but this time with someone on a sampler as well. She also had three amazing
young backing dancers that pulled off a fantastic choreographed display (all
pulling off moves looking like they were the black versions of Britney on
crack). It kicked off with the song Don't Play with Shystie (She Don't Play
Nicely) were she displayed her super fast MCing skills with full on
attitude, mirroring the current UK Grime scene. For those don't know Grime is a
cross between UK Garage 2-Step and UK Hip-Hop. Shystie's set is a mix of dark
tones with mainstream R&B and Funk and seems to be a big hit. Her new single
called Make It Easy seems okay too. Apparently she's coming out soon with
a video game too she's starring in called Juiced which is going to be some kind
of Street Racing game (probably on PS2). I went and watched The Donnas at the Radio 1 stage for a bit. I do remember
hearing some of their stuff before on the radio and it was pretty good, can't
remember the title of the song though. And after that it all goes a bit hazy in my mind. Think I decided I was going to get some food before Peaches came on the stage. I remember going to the ATM for me and Jodi. Then I think I went to the Aftershock Arena Tent for a session of dancing to Jungle. I went mental in that tent and managed to injure my knee dancing. Think I felt really ill after that and went to lie down for a bit. I finally realised I was only feeling sick because I had forgotten about getting my food in the end. Anyway, I went to get some
Sweet & Sour Pork from a nearby food trailer but they didn't have rice so I had
to have it with fries. When I started eating it it was really hot and spicy,
don't know if that was because it was just rubbish or my taste buds were just
going mental. Didn't enjoy it too much though and it was defiantly a rip-off at
£5.50. Man, everything's so expensive at the Festival (I'll have to get that
fixed somehow)!! What sucks even more is that they won't let you take bottles of
water with you into the arena. They also charge you £2 per bottle when your in
there. What I ended up doing alot was going to the Arena, buying a bottle of
water, going back out and having to leave the half finished bottle at my tent
and go in and pay another £2 for a new one. Man, that sucked major. It was dark vaguely remember going back into the Arena so I was ready for
2 Many DJs. Unfortunatly while I was passed out I had missed Peaches,
Soulwax and DJ Numark's solo set. For those of you that don't know 2 Many
DJs are actually members of Soulwax so they must be mental to do two
performances basically one after another, as is DJ Numark. Found Lucy & Gustoff
off their faces outside the Dance Tent. Gustoff went off somewhere and me
and Lucy hung out till 2 Many DJs started. The tent was packed all the way out
across the walkway behind and out the sides so I ended up watching just outside
the tent to the right while Lucy sat and listened on the grass nearby. For some
strange reason 2 Many DJs came on the stage along with looooads of drunken
people with alcohol and supersoakers. They did a fantastic eclectic mix as
usual. Was pretty wrecked so I can't remember it all but they were mixing all
sorts from classic rock to techno. If you've not heard it yet I'd defiantly
recommend their album. No serious music fan's listening is complete without
hearing this album. 2 Many DJs truly create masterpieces of music. Too many
cooks may spoil the broth but 2 Many DJs certainly spoil nothing. To top off the
experience and the visuals on the projection the brilliant fireworks display
from behind the Main Stage as The Darkness rocked their spandex suits off was
awe inspiring and the whole tent of dancing people turned to watch it as the DJs
ripped up the joint. It defiantly made the night. I would have liked to have
seen The Darkness' stage show but I didn't feel I could miss 2 Many DJs
seeming as I had seen The Darkness previously at JonnyFest 2003. It was
defiantly worth seeing but I would have loved to have seen both of them. When all the bands had finished me and Lucy went for a walk back to the
campsite and then hung around for a bit outside the Aftershock Arena. The party
was really swinging there and there was a large crowd of people at the front.
The staff swept the crowds with spotlights from the towers and sprayed foam down
on them all. Eventually Lucy needed to go and lie down in her tent so I went off
to go on the Megaspin ride. It was fantastic as I spun round and upside down
with everyone shouting "G-Unit!" and "You Knows It!" at the top of their voices.
The announcer then asked if we wanted more and we all shouted for more and we
span round for another couple of minutes much to our delight. Must have been
feeling the G-Forces for at least 5 minutes before I stepped off and grabbed my
gear. As soon as my feet were on firm un-moving ground I started to feel sick. I
stumbled up the road for about 3 or 4 minutes before throwing up my dinner next
to a fence and deciding I needed to head to bed. When I got back to the tent I entered a state of semi-consciousness and spent
the next 4 hours or so listening to the sounds of the site. People all round our
site started playing word association games. For an entire hour (or eternity as
it seemed) people were shouting out names of minor celebrities. Every so often I
couldn't hold it in and had to shout out things like "David Hasslehoff!" and
"Pip The Elder!" which started off a session of English primeministers. After a
while I gave up and went for a surreal walk at about 5am. I ended up going
fairly crazy and went to the 24 hour supermarket looking for Jaffa Cakes. The
supermarket was fairly surreal and oppressive with it's eastern European folk
music playing and strange people like me not in bed. Chatted with the girl at
the checkout who still couldn't work out how she'd ended up stuck with her
shift. Sat on the picnic benches for bit and thought random thoughts before
heading back and this time falling asleep (unfortunately on my chicken wrap I'd
just brought). PS - Saw a bit of the Hives, what a complete bunch of knobbers. Claiming they were the best band in the world. Who organised the lineup anyway? Whoever it was is fired!
Jonny's Friday Review
I started Friday by stopping off at the Lipton Ice Tea Air Guitar stage. There I saw the biggest Air Guitar band at the festival Hair Metal! Best Air Guitar band I've ever seen hitting nearly every beat, fantastic air technique, great stage presence and the singer had amazing miming style. Rock On Dudes! The Queue for the Arena was huge, thousands of people trying to get in the gates at the same time. If I'd been thinking properly I would have taken the Secret Jonny-door to get straight through but I'd already had a few beers to top off Thursdays binge. By the time I got inside I managed to miss most of the first act I wanted to see, Chromeo. Saw their last couple of songs,
defiantly funky. They had some kind of electro-funk rock going on and a talkbox. Next up in the Dance Tent, the first of Dizzee Rascal's mates for the weekend, Ivory. Doing Alternative Grime with his full backing band the cat truly is crazy. I mean if you get all the craziness of the Prodigy's line-up and put it into one guy on too much sugar you're getting what I mean. Maybe this guy should be the true Dizzee one. The guy wore the craziest clothes and had rhymes to go with them. He spent the instrumental solo of one song just spinning round on the spot. Tapped in the head. When Ivory had finished doing his thing I went over to the Main Stage, picked up some supplies from the Legal Herbal Highs Bar and went to find a good seat ready for The Streets.
Caught some of Dropkick Murphys who were playing on the Main Stage. I was surprised by how many songs they did that I recognised. They were quite good until they decided to do a cover of....Fairy Tale In New York... NOOOOOO!!!!! That has to be one of my least liked songs ever. Miserable as hell. Come on, it's awful. Usually I like the fun of Christmas songs in summer, but that takes the piss. Not only is it a shit song, they murdered it. They actually made it worse some how. Thankfully The Streets managed to take back the day in the name of
quality music. They were a bit late but Colin Murray was comparing and managed
to entertain us with some classic tracks including some Queen, Van Halen and
Guns & Roses. As usual Skinner & Friends are bang on. Every song is a winner in
my mind. Of course the chart toppers got everyone going for it. I was pleased to
see all the rockers actually loving it and I think everyone was feeling a sense
of love...that and the herbs were kicking in. The set started off with
the slower numbers to warm-up with. This section's climax was a performance of
the heartfelt Dry Your Eyes Mate and I swear I saw peeps almost crying in
the audience. From there they went into their tribute to me and played
Blinded By The Lights which I have to say was the highlight of the set. That
has to be a defining moment for me really. I felt amazing for that song, it was
un-believable. From there the set wound up in tempo and soon the crowd was all
pogo-ing to Don't Mug Yourself and singing all the words back. It was
wild! They closed the set on their latest hit Fit But You Know It which
went down fantastically. Watched some of LostProphets and it seemed okay even though the sound
wasn't so good. Didn't watch all of it cus I was randomly mooching round in a
tripped out sun-burning state. I would have actually liked to have seen it all
but I couldn't be bothered really. Shame really as I like their album The
Fake Sound Of Progress. Once you've seen so much music in one day seeing
more becomes less of a priority than usual. During the middle of LostProphets I
went off to see if I could find Mike Skinner in the dance tent because he said
he'd see me there but there was no sign of him. Must have been off getting
wrecked somewhere. Mike's pretty unreliable sometimes. Went close up to the stage to watch Placebo. They were just as
excellent as last year but basically the same with mostly the same set. To be
expected really as they've not made any new songs since then. Still enjoyed in
none the less. As it was a greatest hits set though every song was fantastic.
Not sure what my favourite track was, probably either My Sweet Prince or
Taste In Men. Didn't think there were as many people for it as there was
last year, possibly for the reason everyone saw them at JonnyFest 2003.
Brian had a completely new hairstyle this year, had some kind of elven look
going. Thought he looked better before though. I'm not sure if it's possible for
me to watch Placebo without thinking gay thoughts. Next up was what for me was the headlining act for the day 50 Cent &
G-Unit!!! Some people thought it was
Green Day but that was just a mistake on the line-up. Green Day were just to play everyone out at the end. I was right down near the front for G-Unit or the "frontline" as it became known as. As soon as the cry of G-Unit came out the war ensued. Nobbers and stuck up Green Day fans launched an attack on the stage and the crowd using projectiles. I personally took 5 projectiles in the head including a full can of beer. If you don't like an act go and see something else on another stage rather than being an asshole. Apparently the southern wankers at the Reading Festival were so brutal Fifty only did 25 mins before telling
them to go fuck themselves. They really were fantastic at JonnyFest though,
defiantly the best thing I saw all festival. They had the quality crowd
interaction (even if it was only half the crowd) I've seen in a long time. The
DJ was top and occasionally threw in a shit hot tune out of no-where to get the
crowd even more hyped up. I knew a lot more of the songs then I thought. The
performance was spot on and the 4 of them managed to fill the stage with there
presence. One of the guys came into the crowd to show some love but had to
retreat back to the stage after the wankers who were trying to ruin it kept
throwing things at him. The lightshow and the pyrotechnics were amazing, I could
feel the heat from the flames I was so close. I really can't manage to say how
good it was. I'm well up for going to see a Shady/Aftermath tour sometime. Fifty
threw his shoes and top out for the fans near the end and then did a kickass
finale. After G-Unit had finished I had a walk round and then went to
congratulate Fifty and crew on a job well done. I was well wound up and ready to
pledge my allegiance for the Unit. Ended up punching someone later on that
evening over the whole G-Unit thing. Had to get a spliff of Fifty so I could
calm down. It was all madness. Heard a few Green Day songs while I was making sure everything was running. It sounded pretty damn good. They were defiantly playing a good set. Knowing it wasn't going to top G-Unit though but I went to the Dance Tent to watch some more Hip-Hop. Went to see Mike Patton vs Rahzel, Mike being ex-Faith No More and Rahzel being a beatboxer. It wasunbelievable. Nearly everything they did was just using there voices and a few filters. It has to be seen to be believed (I'd say heard to be believed but if you didn't see them doing it you wouldn't believe they were without drum machines). It was fantastical to the max and mind boggling. Not seen anything like it ever. They even did a rendition of the new Roni Size &
Rahzel track which was top. Not really sure of what happened after that. I remember feeling ill and then
getting back up and going on a mad trek. The partying and cries of "G-UNIT!"
continued on into the early hours of the morning and it was aaaall good.
Jonny's Thursday Review
 Thursday morning was thick with excitement and inticipation. Everyone must have thier own tales of the long journey to Leeds. I don't think anyone managed to get there without problems. Traffic down the motorway was qued for mile upon mile from the festival site at Bramham Park. Check my previous posts from my phone for an idea of what was going on. Alchohol, anarchy, water fights, fist fights, smoking, partying and motorway chaos. After our 7 hour journey (and all morning of problems before we even set off) we found a place to setup camp. I had decided to camp with all the normal festival goers because even though it's my festival I'm a down to earth kind of guy. I'd actually been offered a helicopter ride to the site and to stay at the big mansion but I decided I wanted a proper festival experience. From then to the early hours of the morning people arrived set up thier camps and joined the already swinging party. Due to the amount of alcohol consumed (Half a bottle of Peach Schnapps, 9 shots of aftershock and 2 cans of Stella Artois) I couldn't tell you all that happened but I do remember it was all great fun. One of the people camped next to us was less then welcoming (little bitch, it's my festival so get stuffed) but on the whole people were in a friendly mood. I spent most of the evening outside the Aftershock Arena partying with a large crowd before seeing an un-invited guest and storming off upset to nearly pass out on a picnic table. After a long stumble round the main festival road in search of other people I knew I returned to my tent, tumbled into it and passed out with my muddy clothes on. A long but exciting day in all.
End Of Jonny's Festival Logs
Well it's now Tuesday apparantly and I'm back home. For some reason my last text didn't appear from Monday at 3:16pm. "Dizzy Rascal was fantastic. Not fully sure what happened between then &
this train. Talked to bushes tho. Stuff blew up. Got muddy."
Anyway. Back since yesterday afternoon. Still a bit messy up in my head. Will be posting some reviews of various bits of the festival soon. The new 2004 photo gallery will be up soon. For now you can check out Hammy's report on his Cutey Booty Party Weekend at JonnyFest. G-UNIT!
Comedy. Robots. The motivator. Franz Ferdinand. Can only be JONNYFEST 2004!
why are all the bars shut? Why is there no jaffa cakes in this supermarket. Why am i not in bed. Badgers?
2 many djs. U well ****** knows it.
Been a quality hip hop day. Off for dinner. Sweet and sour pork and herbal speed.
Bein skanking and skaing. Jonnyfest anti-soccer adverts aint goin down to well. Think i just saw chris moyles!
Sun burning neck like hellfire. GLC. U ****** knowz it. Wasted.
G-UNIT! 50 was awesum. Saw glasto dan. Got insomnia. Blag
A few vodka jellys and a few tubes of herbal highs and its time for the streets tribute to jonny!
In the biggest que for the arena. Theres literally thousands of peeps in front of me. Dammit.
Watching HAIR METAL on the lipton ice tea air guitar stage. ROCK ON!!
it's bangin in the aftershock tent nearby and i'm sat on a binbag. Top.
random cute guy got out his car in the q just gave us a joint. Quality.
Anks is bein scary and is drinking *while* driving.
Stuck in traffic now after many adventure already. Dark clouds up. Beer wearing off. Need spirits. B4 did 120mph. Eeek.
Well heres my first JONNYFEST Report. Been up since 6:45 to help homeless peeps. Still in Bolton tho cus of anks' bad organizin.
JonnyFest 2004 Online
 JONNYFEST ONLINE Keep an eye on JonnyWorld.co.uk/JonnyFest/ over this
weekend starting tomorrow for all the latest
news on the JonnyFest. Jonny will be personally
continually updating the website with news,
backstage gossip and weather reports via TXT
messages from his phone. So watch this space for
regular updates and craziness.
NFG Replacements
 Smurfs To Replace New Found GloryEarlier today Jonny confirmed that New Found Glory's replacements are to be the Smurfs. Just finishing thier European tour, The Smurfs success is sweeping the universe once again. Papa Smurf said this about the news today "It really is great to be able smurf at JonnyFest". Will there be any other surprise changes in the lineup? We'll just have to wait and see.
NFG Cancelled
NEW FOUND GLORY
CANCELLED BY JONNYNew Found Glory have been told by Jonny that they'll not be appearing this year. The Florida based band, who were set to play on the Main Stage at on Friday 27th August, will however, still play their headline show at The Forum, Kentish Town on Tuesday 31st August. When asked Jonny said "The lead singer wouldn't give me back the £2.50
that he owed me! For those reasons I had to tell them to knob off."
Line Up Changes
 LINE-UP LATEST
More acts have been added to the bill of JonnyFest. Kazikstan
spawned Country music group Borat & Friends have been added to the Radio 1 Stage.
Please also note Squarepusher will no longer be appearing on the Dance Stage
at either event because they are fags.
No Day Ticket Camping
 SORRY, NO CAMPING
FOR DAY TICKET HOLDERS
Following a large number of enquires to Jonny's Cellphone, please note that
holders of day tickets for JonnyFest will not be allowed to camp overnight at either site - even if customers have tickets for the entire three days.
This is due to the fact Jonny thinks you should stop being partimers and get
proper tickets like grownups.
Ice Cold Beer
Got weekend festival tickets? Camping out? Don’t want the hassle of breaking your back to lug about your crates of beer? Why not pre-order 24 can crates of ice cold Carling or Grolsch and simply collect them from and the Onsite Supermarket. What could be easier? Cases of Grolsch are priced at £ 25 and cases of Carling at £ 20 including VAT and booking fees. There are no postage fees payable on orders within the U.K. Vouchers are redeemable onsite only and will be posted out on Monday the 23rd of August.
Yes To Surfing
SAY YES TO CROWD SURFING!!!!
Ever had someone's boot in your face while trying to watch your favourite band? Fun isn't it? Please crowd surf at this year's JonnyFest. Not only could you hurt yourself but you may injure someone else and make it a treasured weekend for them to remember. You will be congratulated by security if you're found to be persistently crowd surfing.
Weekend Tickets Sell Out
 WEEKEND TICKETS
FOR JONNYFEST SELL OUT
Weekend tickets for the second JonnyFest have sold out in record time according to festival organisers. A very limited number of tickets can be brought on eBay or the Black Market now.
SuicideGirls Up For It
SuicideGirls are coming to Jonny's Late Night Boudoir for the first time with their unique brand of burlesque, that's sure to add a touch of glamour if not a little sleaze to the late night cabaret entertainment.
Click here for more information
Sheeplovers Booked
DIRTY SANCHEZ ON LATE NIGHT STAGEWelsh masochists Dirty Sanchez are among the weird and wonderful acts set to appear on the Late Night Stage because we couldn't afford Jackass.
Comedy & Cabaret Announced
COMEDY & CABARET STAGE ANNOUNCED
The all-star line-up for the Comedy and Cabaret Stage at this summer's JonnyFest has been announced. As usual the finest comedy talent has been secured and some spectacular surprises are in store for the after hours cabaret.
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